A Story About Poop.

Today we all went out for a bit, did some grocery shopping, and then came home.

Upon our arrival at home, we immediately fed Piper and unloaded groceries.

After feeding Piper, we let her down to have run of the house. This is nothing new, we've child proofed stuff and gated off unsafe stuff. She headed off toward the short hall at the front of the house where her nursery is. I could see her, and I wondered out loud if I'd left her nursery door open. It is (oddly) not childproofed yet, and there's tons of stuff she could get into in there. So I followed after her, and caught her just inside the doorway having a great time pulling burp cloths from their place just inside the door. I began to herd her back into the living area when I noticed in the semi dark, as neither the hall light or the nursery light was on, that there was something on the tile floor. It was something small and roundish and dark in color, it could have been a rock or a small hunk of mud.. or poop. I touched it (yes, folks, when you have a baby, you too will get to touch poop. It is *awesome*), and yes, it was definitely not mud or a rock. It was almost certainly poop, though I had not ruled out cat vomit. My primary concern now was trying to make sure that Piper had not also noticed it and ended up with it in her hands/hair/mouth. No sign of any suspicious substances on her hands or feet or anything. I herded her back to the living area, and went back to clean up the small mess.

Perhaps two minutes later, after I'd washed my hands, and as I was standing in the kitchen, Krissi, who was standing with a clear view down that hallway to the nursery, where Piper was playing again, said "Oh my god, I know where the poop is." I semi-panicked, assuming of course that Piper had discovered the poop motherload, and was in the process of decorating her hands, face, mouth, clothing, walls, etc. "Oh crap, where is it?" I responded, hurrying around the counter. "It's on her." was Krissi's reply.

Folks,

Imagine a chocolate frostee from Wendy's. Imaging taking the lid off of the that frostee and gripping it solidly near the bottom, and then gently squeezing your hand. Getting a mental image?

That's what Piper's diaper was doing. There was shit flowing over the top of the back of her diaper.

Aren't you glad I shared this with you?

We briefly scrambled to change her and her clothes, but then quickly changed gears, and carried her directly to the bathroom, where we stripped her, cleaned off (most of) the poop, and put her into the bathtub, where she was thoroughly washed. Twice.